Parnian Ajami
Coaching and Counselling
Welcome
I'm Parnian,
A Coach and Counsellor, here to support you in reconnecting with your inner system; mind, body, heart, and spirit.
Let's explore your journey together, one step at a time!
How I Support You
My mission is to help you reconnect with your inner system; mind, body, heart, and spirit. Because I believe we’re all part of a larger whole, and how we orient within shapes how we live with our environment and community.
This doesn’t mean I overlook the systemic inequalities or external factors that affect our lives. Rather, as your Counsellor, I offer a compassionate and non-judgmental space for you to turn inward—while honouring your situation—especially in today’s fast-paced and overwhelming world that can leave us feeling fragmented and disconnected.
My work is trauma-informed, culturally aware, and queer-friendly.
My Expertise
I specialise in supporting people with:
Anxiety: You may notice yourself feeling tense, disconnected, or uncertain about what’s going on inside, as if something isn’t quite right, yet hard to put into words. I hold a safe space where you can understand and explore your inner world with curiosity and compassion.
Relationship challenges: You might be feeling misunderstood, frustrated, disconnected, or stuck in your social or emotional life. I help you recognise and experience your emotions, needs, and feelings in your relationships, so you can navigate relationships with more clarity, confidence, and connection.
About Me
Originally from Iran and living in the Netherlands since 2018, my journey through anxiety, overwhelm, and identity transitions led me to a path of self-discovery and healing. This transformation now inspires me to support others navigating anxiety, relationship challenges, and experiences of disconnection or feeling stuck.My lived experiences growing up as a woman in Iran and later immigrating abroad have also shaped my sensitivity to the complexities of cultural identity, belonging, and the struggles faced by marginalised communities.These lived experiences and understandings ground my work. So my services are especially supportive for, but not limited to:
People from collective cultures who are living in more individualistic cultures and are seeking culturally aware guidance that honors both of their worlds.
Individuals from marginalised or diverse backgrounds who value an inclusive, affirming space that welcomes them exactly as they are.
Those looking for care beyond the insurance system, where healing isn’t reduced to diagnoses or curing symptoms, but focused on the interconnected nature of our existence (inside-out) and understanding the root of our challenges to create space for them to be.
Credentials & Trainings
IFS-Informed Counsellor: IFS training (ongoing) - Stepping Stones - IFSCA - 16 weeks program.
Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy and Mentalization, Zi Psychology clinic, 40 hours course
Certified Counsellor and Coach with a specialisation in Trauma and Well-being: Academie voor Coaching en Counselling, 2 years training, HBO level (NL)
Affiliations
LVSC (Landelijke Vereniging voor Supervisie en Coaching), the Dutch professional association for coaches and supervisors—registration#AJA001 - RC
As a member, I adhere to LVSC’s ethical guidelines and professional standards.
My Approach
My approach is Holistic, Integrative, and Client-centered. Which translates to:
I see you as a whole person with mind, body, heart, and spirit. Therefore, my support does not address each part of you individually in isolation from another, but explores the relationship between them all for healing.
I draw from different modalities I’ve been trained in, adapting them to your unique needs and experiences.
You are the expert of your life, and I am a fellow-traveler in your journey supporting you in reuniting with the wisdom already within you.
My work is trauma-informed and culturally aware, honoring your background while creating a safe, compassionate, and nonjudgmental space for your self-exploration.
I meet you where you are and support your healing at the pace that feels right for you.
Offerings
Sliding scale fee structure (45€-110€) based on your monthly income
Free 30-minute Introductory call
Sessions available online worldwide or in-person in Rotterdam
Services offered in English or Persian language
© 2025 Parnian Ajami | Portrait Photo Credit @Arie Kers
These experiences from my clients capture the essence of our work together
“Sessions with Parnian are always very fruitful and offer me new perspectives on how to work on myself. She makes you feel seen and understood and uses a somatic approach to stay grounded and focused on your goals. I strongly recommend her to anyone who feels they need a safe space to grow and reconnect with themselves.”
“The space Parnian created between us always made me feel safe, seen and heard. I never felt judged and that made it very easy for me to open up to her. I began the coaching wanting to be able to be more in touch with my emotions especially in relation to other people in friendships and romantic relationships. I feel a much bigger trust in my own ability to recognise my own feelings and needs in relationships. When previously I would have been scared to address how I am feeling, Parnian has given me tools to be able to face my emotions with less fear and more confidence. Additionally, I already notice in myself more ease in being able to express these feelings and needs to other people, which was something I have found difficult in the past. I recognise that it’s not a quick fix and requires a lot of practice but Parnian has helped me start this process and made me feel like it is something I can do.”
“Parnian was very understanding and I always felt listened to and that it was an accessible space for both of us. As a result of our sessions together, I am far far better at self-care practices and articulating my own boundaries in personal and social relationships. The setting of boundaries has enabled me to move beyond a state of burnout into a healthier work/life balance. I have also learned to be kinder to myself and listen to all of the parts of myself that need time.”
"Having sessions with Parnian was quite challenging at first since it was my first time in counselling, and opening up didn’t come easily to me. However, as sessions passed, the process became easier. Parnian was empathetic, understanding, and a great listener. With her help, I faced some of my biggest fears and overcame significant challenges, like setting boundaries at work. On a personal level, her guidance also gave me the courage to open my heart and building my desired romantic relationship."
All experiences are anonymised to protect clients' confidentiality
Your Journey With Me
Step 1: Introductory Call (30 minutes, free)
This call is to connect and explore if we're a good fit for working together. We'll discuss your goals, needs, questions, and how I could support you. The call is also to find the right fee scale for your situation.
Step 2: Getting Started
Once you decide to begin, you'll receive an intake form to help me better understand your background, goals and expectations. We'll use your first session to explore this information together, creating a foundation for our work.
Step 3: Our Work Together
Each session is 60 minutes long and is tailored to your goals, needs and situation:
Sessions takes place in Rotterdam or online.
Resources and exercises will be provided when requested and needed
Every 5 session we do a regular check-in about your trajectory
Pricing
I believe that healing and personal growth should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their financial situation. That's why I offer a sliding scale fee structure based on your monthly income:
| Monthly income (NET) | Session rate (60 minutes) |
|---|---|
| Below €1,500 | €45 |
| €1,500 - €2,500 | €65 |
| €2,500 - €3,500 | €85 |
| Above €3,500 | €110 |
A note about fees:
• I trust you to choose the rate that honestly reflects your financial situation.
• Fees can be reviewed and adjusted if your financial situation changes.
FAQ
• Is this Therapy?
No, Coaching and Counselling is not Therapy as a counsellor does not diagnose nor treat mental health disorders. Coaching and Counselling are not substitutes for therapy however they can offer you an additional form of support.
• How many sessions do I need?
There are no straightforward answers as to how many sessions you will need. The length of the Coaching and Counselling trajectory is tailored to you and what you are looking for from our work together. We will regularly review the number of sessions and your goals.
• Are sessions covered by insurance?
No, insurance companies do not cover Coaching and Counselling services.
• Where do we meet?
Physical sessions are available in the city center of Rotterdam.
If you live abroad or do not require a physical session, video call sessions are available from the comfort of your own home.
• Can I change or cancel my session?
As mentioned in the Terms and Conditions, if you need to change or cancel our session, it is required to notify me a minimum of 24 hours in advance (exception of emergencies and unforeseen circumstances such as illness or an accident applies). If the change or cancellation is within less than 24 hours' notice, I will need to charge the full fee for the session.
• What languages can we speak?
I offer sessions in English and Persian.
Let's get in touch
Would like to book a free Introductory call*, ask further information, or book your first session right away?
Then please submit the form below.
When you reach out, I'll respond within 24-48 hours. We can schedule a free introductory call* or book your first session right away if you're ready to begin.
*Click here to learn more about the Introductory call.
Terms & Conditions
1. Introduction
The following Terms and Conditions govern the professional relationship between Parnian Ajami Coaching and Counselling practice, registered in Rotterdam, The Netherlands, and its Clients. By booking or participating in Parnian Ajami Coaching and Counselling services, you agree to these terms and conditions as the Client.
For easibility, the Coaching and Counselling services/practice are referred to as Counselling throughout the Terms and Conditions. Hence, the Counsellor refers to Parnian Ajami.
2. Services
2.1 The Practice provides Counselling services both in-person and online to clients worldwide.
2.2 Counselling services are not offered as a substitute for professional mental health care or medical care and are not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any mental health or medical conditions. Counselling services complement, but do not replace, the care of mental health professionals or medical providers.
2.3 Counselling is currently an unregulated industry in the Netherlands. Moreover, the Counsellor is not ‘Licensed’ by any international body even though the sessions may take place internationally.
2.4 Participation is at the client's own risk. The Client is responsible for monitoring their own psychological and physical boundaries. If physical and/or psychological issues arise, the Counsellor will refer the Client to their general practitioner/treating physician or an appropriate and specialized therapist.
2.5 If the Client has a complaint about the Counselling, they should let the Counsellor know so the Client and the Counsellor can try to resolve it together. If they can’t find a solution, the Client can submit a formal complaint through the official procedure under the Wkkgz, as the Counsellor is registered with LVSC.
3. Confidentiality and Privacy
3.1 All information shared during sessions is treated as strictly confidential.
3.2 Information will only be disclosed with explicit written consent from the Client.
3.3 Exceptions to confidentiality apply when:
• There is a serious risk of harm to the Client or others.
• There is a legal obligation to disclose information.
• There is suspicion of child abuse or vulnerable adult abuse.
4. Payment and Fees
4.1 Session fees are listed on the website and are subject to periodic review.
4.2 Fees are charged in Euros (EUR). International clients may pay in their local currency, converted at the current exchange rate.
4.3 The Client pays the Counsellor an amount per session. The amount is agreed upon in advance by the Counsellor and the Client and is paid within 14 days of the invoice date.
5. Cancellation Policy
5.1 A minimum 24-hour notice is required for cancellations.
5.2 Late cancellations (less than 24 hours) and no-shows will be charged for the full session.
5.3 Exceptions may be made for emergencies and unforeseen circumstances at the Practice's discretion.
6. Booking
6.1 Sessions must be booked in advance, through contacting the Counsellor.
6.2 New clients will be asked to complete an initial intake form and consent form prior to the first session
6.3 The first session is reserved for reviewing the intake form.
6.4 Session duration is 60 minutes unless otherwise agreed.
6.5 Every five sessions, an evaluation takes place in which the process is assessed, and the goals are reviewed for relevance.
7. Attendance
7.1 The Client is responsible for ensuring adequate internet connection for online sessions.
7.2 Technical issues on the Client's side do not qualify for refunds for online sessions
7.3 The Client is expected to arrive on time for their scheduled sessions.
7.4 Sessions will end at their scheduled time regardless of the Client's arrival time; the session duration will not be extended to compensate for late arrival.
7.5 No refunds or fee adjustments will be made for shortened sessions due to the Client's lateness.
8. Termination of Services
8.1 Either the Counsellor or Client may terminate services with written notice through email.
8.2 The Counsellor reserves the right to terminate services if:
• The Client violates these Terms and Conditions of the Counsellor-Client agreement.
• The Client would be better served by another professional.
• Continuation of services would be unethical or illegal.
9. Changes to Terms and Conditions
9.1 The Counsellor reserves the right to modify the Terms and Conditions with reasonable notice to the Client.
For questions about these terms and conditions, please contact me at:
Email [email protected]
Hidden signs you might be avoiding your emotions and how to reconnect with yourself
Emotional avoidance is something many of us do, sometimes without even realizing it. It can look like pushing away uncomfortable conversation, zoning out with our phone, or even having an overly busy schedule. In the moment, these mechanisms can feel soothing or necessary. But over time, it can leave us feeling disconnected, worn out, or stuck in patterns that don’t serve us anymore.
Subscribe, if you would like to
Receive new blogs, inspiring letters, and free coaching materials in your mailbox
Get notified about courses and workshops
You won't be spammed and can unsubscribe at any time!
This content is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It is intended to complement, not replace, support from a qualified mental health professional.
If you're in distress or facing a mental health crisis, please reach out to a licensed professional or crisis support service in your area.
Hidden signs you might be avoiding your emotions and how to reconnect with yourself
June 2025
Have you ever felt drained, numb, or disconnected and couldn’t quite explain why? You brush it off as stress or burnout, but deep down, something more might be going on: you could be emotionally avoiding.
Emotional avoidance is something many of us do, sometimes without even realizing it. It can look like pushing away uncomfortable conversation, zoning out with our phone, or even having an overly busy schedule. In the moment, these mechanisms can feel soothing or necessary. But over time, it can leave us feeling disconnected, worn out, or stuck in patterns that don’t serve us anymore.
If you're reading this, chances are you're probably starting to notice some of these patterns and are seeking to understand yourself better. So let’s explore five subtle signs you might be avoiding your emotions and ways to reconnect with yourself and what you’re truly feeling.
1. You stay busy to avoid stillness
If you're always filling up your schedule, struggle to slow down, or feel uneasy during quiet moments, staying busy might be your go-to coping tool to avoid uncomfortable emotions and feelings.
Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that stillness can feel unsafe or too vulnerable. So we keep moving.
Try this:
Next time there's a small pause in your day, try not to reach for something to do right away. Instead, take a few deep breaths and ask yourself:
Journal prompt: “What have I been feeling today, and when?”
You don’t need to write pages, just one sentence is a start.
2. You have limited emotional vocabulary
If your emotional vocabulary feels limited to “fine,” “anxious,” or “tired,” you’re not alone. Especially if, growing up, you didn’t feel safe expressing deeper emotions. When core emotions like happiness, anger, or fear weren’t acknowledged or supported, you may have learned to suppress or ignore them or even rely on one emotion as a stand-in for all the others.
Over time, lose touch with your emotional range. But when you can’t name what you’re actually experiencing, it becomes much harder to process or release it. As a result, those unprocessed emotions may surface later as anxiety, burnout, or physical tension.
Try this:
Use a “Wheel of Emotion” (Google it—it’s an amazing tool) to explore emotions beyond the usual few.
Then revisit the same journal prompt from #1 and use the “Wheel of Emotion” to go deeper.
3. You think your way around feelings
When faced with emotional discomfort, do you jump straight into problem-solving, overthinking, or replaying conversations in your mind? This habit of “figuring it out” can be a protective strategy your brain uses to avoid discomfort and vulnerability. While this strategy can give you the illusion of control it often keeps you disconnected from your emotional truth.
Try this:
Next time you catch yourself spiraling in thought, pause and ask yourself: “Where do I feel this in my body?”
4. You default to distractions
Doom scrolling, impulse shopping, binge-watching—these are all common ways we cope when life feels too much. And to be clear: sometimes these ways are what your nervous system genuinely needs. Distractions can be a healthy and even necessary way to regulate overwhelm, especially in moments when processing emotions feels unsafe or out of reach.
But if your default response to emotional discomfort is immediate distraction, it might be a sign you’re unconsciously avoiding your emotions. When emotions are quickly buried under screens, noise, or other stimuli, your nervous system misses the opportunity to process your emotions and release feelings that come with them. Over time, this can create chronic stress, disconnection, or even physical symptoms.
Try this:
Next time you reach for a distraction,pause for 10 seconds first. Place a hand on your chest or belly and notice:
"What am I feeling right now?"
You can still scroll or watch after—but that brief check-in starts building emotional awareness without forcing change.
5. You struggle to know what you need
Emotions are signals that help you navigate what matters to you, set boundaries, and make aligned decisions. If you can't access them, it’s like driving without a map. For instance questions like “What do I need right now?” can feel impossible to answer. You might feel blank or constantly second-guess yourself. Reconnecting with your emotions and learning to interpret your emotional cues can help you live a life aligned with your true Self.
Try this:
Next time you feel lost in what you need in a specific situation, ask yourself: “If my emotion could speak, what would it say it needs right now?”
Trust the first thing that comes. Even if it’s small. Even if it surprises you.
Why awareness matters
Avoiding your emotions doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you adapted. You learned to protect yourself in the best way you knew how. But now, maybe you’re ready to reconnect; slowly, gently, without pressure to figure it all out at once.
Small check-ins. Quiet pauses. A little curiosity. These are enough to begin.
And if the process feels heavy, you don’t have to do it alone. Support from a therapist or a trauma-informed coach and counsellor (like me) can help you start your self-discovery journey with more safety and structure.
If you're unsure whether coaching or therapy is right for you, I'm happy to help you explore that in a free introductory call.
References
Porges, S. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory
Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score
Leahy, R. L., Tirch, D., & Napolitano, L. A. (2011). Emotion Regulation in Psychotherapy
